Warning* This post refers to male violence against women.

As a young woman, I had a poster of this postcard on my wall. I have embroidered it onto linen in green and purple threads, stitching words still depressingly relevant nearly 30 years later.

How can that be? When so much has changed in the world, how come life for women and girls is getting worse, not better?

How come women still take on the majority of work in the home, the caring work, the organisational work of family life, while going out to paid work as well?

How come we still experience medical misogyny? How come our pain is still not taken seriously? How come our symptoms are not recognised or dismissed?  How come we are still trying to make ourselves non-confrontational when advocating for our health needs, so we’re to not dismissed as pushy or mad?  How come the risk of maternal death be three times higher among black women and women of colour compared to white women?[1] How come there’s still a disparity in medical treatment based solely on the colour of our skin?

How come worldwide, women and girls are disproportionally enduring the greatest impact of climate emergency? [2] That climate emergency amplifies gender inequalities, globally putting more women at risk through the escalation of social, economic and political violence.

How come worldwide 51,100 women were killed by an intimate family member or partner in 2023? [3]

How come in the UK at least 147 women were killed by men in 2021. Or that 53% of these women were killed by a current or former intimate partner. Or that 52% of these women were killed after taking steps to leave their partner.

How come one in four women in the UK will be subjected to domestic violence?[4] And before we move on let’s just place men central in this picture. If one in four women, women that you will know, are subjected to male violence from an intimate partner, that means you know these men. Think about how many male friends you have for a moment, a quarter of them may be involved in domestic abuse. These are men you work with. These are men you drink with, the men you see at school plays and football club.

And don’t waste my time with the ‘not all men.’ I don’t care to protect men’s outrage or vanity. I wonder how many people in Mazan, the commune in France with a population of just over 6,000 thought ‘not all men’ as 51 men were convicted of rape alongside the rapist Dominique Pelicot? 

By the laws of average, you know these men, the ones subjecting women and girls to domestic violence and sexual assault. You have heard how they talk about women. You have laughed along. You have excused their behaviour. What did you do about it? 

‘Oh, it was only once.’ ‘Oh, he was drunk.’ ‘She was asking for it.’ ‘He’s a nice guy, really.’ ‘Oh, he was under a lot of stress.’ ‘He knows it was a mistake.’  ‘It was only a laugh.’ ‘Can’t you take a joke?’

How come the police receive a domestic abuse-related call every 30 seconds, even though it is estimated that only 24% of domestic abuse crime is reported to the police? [5]

How come, given the levels of crime committed against women, that services to support them are so underfunded?

How come 24.7% of referrals to Women’s Aid are rejected because there is simply no space or capacity to help these women? [6]

How come, in Afghanistan, women’s lives are being severely restricted both publicly and privately with the banning of education and work for women and girls. Prohibitions meaning women cannot leave the home without a male family member, must be totally covered, must not smile or sing in public, with a ban on single-space gathering such as beauty-parlours. [7] Given all of this, how come England’s Men’s Cricket team are still playing in Afghanistan?

How come there’s been an 11 % increase in transphobic hate crimes as well as well as an increase in sexual orientation hate crime, even when we know that most transphobic and homophobic hate crimes go unreported.[8]

How come our feminism is still excluding, rather than including?

How come Abortion rights are under threat again?

How come with 69,184 rapes recorded by police between 1^st  July 2023 and 30^th June 2024, charges were bought in only 2.7% of these cases? That’s fewer than 3 in 100 reported cases resulting in someone being charged that year. [9]

Let’s not forget that the conviction rate is even lower.

91% of those actually prosecuted for sexual offences are men over 18. Half of all rapes against women were carried out by an intimate partner or former partner.

How come even thinking about writing any of this I need to be aware of the hate and threats of violence and rape from men online, just for writing about male violence.

How come women are attacked online every day just for existing online?

How come we still don’t have equal pay? Or accessible childcare?   

On the 18^{th of} January in cities all over Britain, women will be joining together, marching to shout that we have had enough. Rallying in resistance to the epidemic of Male Violence against Women and Girls across the globe, women are joining together to say NO MORE!

I will be marching.

I hope you will too?

UK Women’s March 2025 | Facebook

If you need help in the UK look here

I need help – information and support on domestic abuse

In Wales Live Fear Free helpline | GOV.WALES

Rape Crisis England & Wales

in USA Find Domestic Violence and Abuse Help, Information and Stats

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[1] Maternal mortality 2020-2022 | MBRRACE-UK | NPEU

[2] Explainer: How gender inequality and climate change are interconnected | UN Women – Headquarters

[3] 2021-Femicide-Census-Report.pdf

[4] How common is domestic abuse? – Women’s Aid

[5] Facts and Statistics – Refuge

[6] Domestic abuse services – Women’s Aid

[7] FAQs: Afghan women three years after the Taliban takeover | UN Women – Headquarters

[8]Sexual Orientation and Transgender Identity – Stop Hate UK

[9] Rape, sexual assault and child sexual abuse statistics | Rape Crisis England & Wales