Ooh, I have news! Top secret news! I’m not allowed to share it with anyone, but you, dear reader, are not just anyone, so I will tell you anyway.

But first, in other news, I was temporarily banned from Facebook. Do you want the long or the short version?

The long version involves the photo shoot, where I learned much about myself, including that I am incapable of sitting, standing, or keeping my eyes open. A lovely day was had, way too much laughing – all with my eyes closed,  so we adjourned for a second shoot in the garden where I tried and failed to be a grown-up with eyes wide open.

Back to the Facebook thing. Attempting to help me practice having my photo taken, my daughter-in-law pinned me into my chair and made me sit, looking startled, like some wide-eyed thing.( I can’t really compare myself to a wide-eyed deer, I’m more water buffalo, but in the spirit of accuracy, I’m not sure if water buffalo are wide-eyed?) Eventually, she managed to capture me and my eyes. 

Not hating the pic, I thought I’d update my Facebook profile, but, with flashing lights and sirens wailing, I was informed that my account was now blocked as the image had been reported as against their guidelines for selling Tabacco, or illicit substances, was violent and/or sexually explicit or pornographic.

I didn’t know I had it in me. I mean, nothing says middle-aged-organised-crime-boss like a pink cardi.

Forced to change the profile picture to a close-up of my head, my account was restored.

In other news, the garden is properly lush this year. 

Sumptous Spring sun, combined with the traditional mini-monsoon that is early June, has given the roses a much-needed boost, and if it ever stops raining, it will be lovely to sit outside and appreciate them.

The great lettuce harvest has begun. As of writing, I have 24 assorted lettuces in need of eating, along with cut-and-come-again salad leaves, rocket, corn salad and land-cress. The Sparrows are teaching their young to feast on the kale, shedding the leaves like confetti. Meanwhile, the courgettes have set fruit and the early raspberries are ready to pick. (That the freezer is still full of last year’s raspberries waiting to be jammed should be ignored.)

What else?

The dog is still being a dick. An incredibly handsome dick (ok weird!) but a dick nonetheless. Same with the Mister, though we should probably not mention dicks in this context, handsome or otherwise.

Ooh, my work has been featured in the very magnificent and grown-up second issue of the Wales-based new literary magazine Folding Rock. The beautiful cover was designed by Matt Needle (Pixar, GQ, V&A).  Published on 10th July 2025, it’s edited by Rob Harries and Kathryn Tann and features work by some amazing writers. And me!

You can find out more here. https://foldingrock.com/

Doctor Who! So many questions. So many tears! WTF! I need more time to process, and to watch the whole series again…but what about Susan, his granddaughter? And Rose? WTF! And where did the ‘Mrs Flood’ Rani disappear to? And I need to say, ‘The Interstellar Song Contest’ episode was AMAZING!!!!! But WTF! So. Many. Questions.

There was something else I wanted to tell you…something top secret…What could it be? Garden, raspberries, photoshoot, what else has been going on? I mean, the house is a mess. I’ve not been so well. But that’s not it…

Ooh! I know. Come close. Let me whisper into your ear. Did I mention I was writing a book? Well, I’ve only gone and finished it! I know. Who knew I had it in me?

A whole bloody book. About me.

A book that is going to have actual pages.

And a title.

And a cover!!!!!!!!!!

Do you wanna see it? Do ya? Do ya?

Just a quick peek.

I can reveal for the first time ever, exclusively to you, my dear friends…

Omg! The bloody dog’s been in the raspberries. I thought his face was covered in blood. I nearly died. But it’s the raspberries. He’s eaten them all and now he’s doing zoomies all over the house, spattering raspberry seeds and gore as he goes. It looks like some fruit-inspired horror show.

I’ve got to have to go.

So much to share.

Did I mention I’d written a book?

Can you do me a favour? If you like my work, would you share this email with a friend/on your socials? (Or if you hate it, send it to your enemies as revenge for whatever they did.) It can be hard for new writers to reach an audience, and I couldn’t get my words into the world without your support. xxx