I have flaps! (Oi! You in the back, get your mind out of the gutter! )

Have I mentioned that I’ve written a book?

No? I’m sure I have.

Is there something wrong with your memory?

Do you need to see someone?

What is the name of the current Queen? What year is it? For how many days of October do Swizzles count as legal tender?

I’ve written a book. Not only does the book have pages with actual words on them, not only does it have a magnificent pink front cover, it now has a back cover and flaps.

Flaps, I will have you know, (stop sniggering at the back), flaps are the technical term for that little flappy bit when you open the book where it tells you all about the story and why you might want to read it.

My flaps are fabulous (seriously, I will see you after class.) My flaps say cool things like ‘read this book,’ and ‘it has actual pages!’ Honestly, as flaps go, I’m not sure I’ve seen better.

There’s a lot about getting a book published that I did not know. Obviously, we’ve already covered my surprise at it having actual pages, but it gets way more technical than that.

There’s the font to consider and the spacing on the page. There’s copy editing, line editing, layout and proofreading. Don’t ask me to explain the difference in any of these because it’s really very technical and would require a very long explanation, and I would actually need to understand the difference, which I think we can all agree is unlikely.

Right now, this very second. Or this second. Or this. Ok, around about now, the book is being printed as Advanced Reading Copies. These are copies of the book that are sent out to all the wise and fabulous people to read and hopefully they say nice things about it. You know when you look on the back of the book and it says,

                     ‘BEST BOOK EVER’

Or

                     THE DEFINING BOOK OF THE DECADE

That’s because someone fabulous had an advanced reading copy or ARC as we say in publishing, and loved it. These comments weren’t paid for, they’re actually what another writer thinks.

This process is pretty terrifying. I have only just got used to the idea of pages, I am coming to terms with my flaps (really how old are you?) but now some very cool people are going to actually read my book.  Writers that I love. Writers whose work is precious to me. Writers whose books sit staring at me while I sit and write.

I am trying to keep my expectations realistic.

          ‘IT HAS PAGES’

          ‘IT’S NOT SHIT’

          ‘BEST FLAPS EVER!’ (how many flaps jokes are too many, asking for a friend?)

So keep me in your thoughts as my book wings its way out into the world. (It doesn’t have actual wings, at least I don’t think so.)

If you see a flying book with actual pages and magnificent flaps, think of me, and keep your fingers crossed that the great and the good think kindly of it.

A huge shout out to my magnificent publishing team at September for working so hard on the flaps, and everything else bookish.

(Trying to find appropriate pictures for this post has been a challenge. Do not type middle aged woman + flaps into the internet.)

https://linktr.ee/chopsymayajordan

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