30 Days of Giving begins today! If you remember, I give a gift a day to make the run up to the Solstice. You can read more about it here https://borderinggrey.com/2023/11/21/30-days-of-giving/

Despite my love of giving, I am not good at receiving gifts.

When faced with gifts (and that language says it all), when faced with a gift and a gift giver, I’d much rather be able to open presents in private, away from prying eyes.

I understand this is weird. I understand that the gift giver wants to see the joy on my face and the tears in my eyes. I, at this point, want to vomit.

There are too many variables to contend with, and as a woman of a certain age, I have neither time nor patience to juggle them all with any grace.

 First, I need to fix my face. This requires forcing my smile into place with superglue or toffee and keeping it there for the required time.  Then I need time to work out if I like the gift. I need time to process that it’s not what I asked for (even if, in the end, it is way better.) I need time to think about the needs of the giver and their desire to see me happy. I need to do all of this while negotiating wrapping paper and stopping the dog from eating Sellotape.

I still need to remember to fix my face. Scowling is not festive, apparently. Neither is snapping, or telling people to be quiet while you concentrate on all of the above. Crying is allowed if it is good crying, not bad crying.  Under no circumstances are you to get up and leave the gifter sitting there for half an hour while you escape, er, take the dog for a quick walk.

 It’s not that I am particularly demanding or fussing when it comes to gifts. (See the last blog post on Teapots and TARDIS if you don’t believe me.) I just like what I like.  And I don’t like being forced to sit and open gifts like it’s a fucking spectator sport. What is that even about?

The thing is, I am not very good at lying. If I don’t like a gift, then I don’t like it. And this makes me stressed. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, especially someone who has been kind enough to give me a gift.

I get this fixed, rhicter-like grin. The kind that hurts your cheeks and can only be sustained with afore mentioned superglue or toffee.  I suspect I might get this wild look in my eye as I try to work out what actual bloody thought was going through someone’s mind when they bought me this!  Then everyone gets weirded out. And the weirder it is, the more I smile,

‘No.no. It’s lovely. Another teapot. Exactly what I’ve been looking for.

Increasingly, I can’t fake joy at something I really don’t want. Life is too short to have my house full of junk I don’t like – there’s not enough room for the junk I do like.

You’d think having ‘collections’ (which I do not have) would make gift shopping for me easier.

The Mister, having read the last blog post, filled our joint Amazon basket with the most inexcusable TARDIS tat; a teeny-tiny TARDIS chopping board – useless! A full-size TARDIS door decal, cute if it were for a fridge, not cute or practical in a rented house (and it was blurry).  The tacky TARDIS shot glasses were not a thing of beauty.

Appalled by the Mister’s lack of taste, I then spent three days stressing on how to tell him that, ungrateful cow that I am, I did not want any of that shite.

‘I only put it in there to wind you up after reading your blog,’ he laughed. ‘I thought you liked teapots,’ he beamed, adding a nasty novelty TARDIS teapot to the basket. (Not, I should add, the cool TARDIS teapot that I’ve been dropping hints about for years!)

Arse!

Apparently, I am not easy to buy for. Actually, you’ll see I’m very easy to buy for;

Exquisite wool in beautiful colours. (No manmade fibres, or yellow, except mustard yellow. But not just mustard yellow, you know, beautiful colours!)

Second-hand books (nothing that smells weird) or is crap…unless it’s so crap that it’s cool… (and remember how I feel about recommendations)

Candles (but not scented unless eye-wateringly expensive and even then, maybe check)

Something nice!

Cool TARDIS stuff (see above)

Classic film memorabilia (again, check for smells)

Pretty postcards – (but you know, not too pretty. Pretty as in cool, not pretty as in pink (though vintage Pretty in Pink postcards would be amazing)

Anything for the garden – plants, seeds, tools, ornaments (what you would call tacky I would call joy, but absolutely no gnomes, (I already have two exceptional gnomes and any more could lead us into collection territory)

I don’t know what the Mister is going on about.

I’m fine with anything. It’s the thought that counts. Just make it the right thought!

And for the love of God, don’t make me open it in front of you.