I was going to write a blog post. It was going to be full of the normal New Year roundups – how many books I read last year. How many I didn’t buy; Hooray! for the library. How many I actually bought anyway. It would have been fascinating, incisive, obviously witty, full of smart things to…
Bore da Chickens, I know you weren’t expecting to hear from me today after all the drama about my flaps (really, that joke never gets old). I could get badges made, ‘Ask me about my Flaps!’ You know how I might have mentioned I’d written a book? You know the one with the fabulous…
I have flaps! (Oi! You in the back, get your mind out of the gutter! ) Have I mentioned that I’ve written a book? No? I’m sure I have. Is there something wrong with your memory? Do you need to see someone? What is the name of the current Queen? What year is it? For…
Sorry, I’m late. I seem to be snowed under, but with what I’m not sure. The truth is I’ve been feeling a little anxious. Did I mention I’ve been writing a book, that has a title and a cover and everything? No? It must have slipped your mind. Well, the book is about to go…
Can you guess what I'm saying? Ooh, I have news! Top secret news! I’m not allowed to share it with anyone, but you, dear reader, are not just anyone, so I will tell you anyway. But first, in other news, I was temporarily banned from Facebook. Do you want the long or the short version?…
I’ve been thinking about words. I write, so words literally fill my world. In English, we have an average vocabulary of between 20,000 and 40,000 words. (You know I am competitive so you can absolutely bet that I went online and did a test to measure my vocabulary.) The measure of our vocabulary is…
I’m full of rage. It’s not my husband this time – though he is still a dick, just in case he does/has done something annoying in the past, or the future. It's not even the dog. What, you ask is the problem, then? (or at least you’d better ask, or this is going to…
I’m late, I’m late, I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been thinking about you. About this post. I miss chatting. Who knew writing a memoir would take up so much head space? Oh, and then there’s the bloody Mister demanding to know which cloth he’s meant to use to clean the windows, while my head is…
So, I’ve written a book. Well, to be fair it's nearly two-thirds done. It's a bit like this blog, only bigger and more personal, though I’m not sure how much more personal you can get than discussing your boobs on the internet. It’s a bit weird, writing about yourself. Even though I do it every…
Oh my friggin’ God, it's still January! How the fuck can it still be January? Despite still having cupboards full of Christmas biscuits, panettone and chocolate, Christmas feels like a hundred years ago. (I feel I should apologise for still having Christmas chocolate in the house, I know I've let you all down. I’ve let…
I love a list. Without a list the things I think I have to do – more on that in a bit – drift out of my head, like balloons making a bid for freedom into a bright summer sky. Without a list I feel untethered, sure I should be doing something but not quite…
‘Mum, you have to stop it.’ I’m being told off by my kids again. And what heinous crime am I being scolded for this week? In that post-Christmas sort-out, I stacked a load of serving dishes and offered to bring them down to my daughter on my next visit. ‘But you haven’t got any,’ I…
Happy New Year. I hope you enjoyed the festivities and have not landed back into dreary January with too much of a bump. Have you got any New Year Resolutions? As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not one for resolutions. I joke now that I can’t be arsed, and that’s true, but as a younger woman,…
Thinking of going away over Christmas? Do make sure to contact your local bobby to let them know. More helpful advice from the Handy Companion
Oh my heart, this movie! I was a weird kid. I found other kids impossible to understand and the constant threats from parents, who wanted me to 'go outside and play,' when I was perfectly happy reading or watching old movies, was unfathamable. Weekends were spent sneaking off to the Library, having lied that I…
I was lucky enough to be chosen to be part of the first A Writing Chance Award and it changed how I felt about being a working class writer. It made me feel like a proper writer. Aplications are now open for A Writing Chance 2024/25. If you are from a working class or low…
I always struggle with this question as the answer changes from day to day. Often it's the last book I read. Sat looking at my book shelf I can see Maggie O'Farrell's Hamnet, which I adore, so today I shall say that's my favourite. Though that said I am listening to Agatha Christie’s The Adventure…
Each day as part of 30 Days of Giving I'll share a picture or a thought so you know I'm thinking of you. Drop a word in the comments if you are inspired to join me in giving gifts and sharing the joy. xxx
Have you ever wanted to know how to address the Eldest son of an Earl? Or how to whitewash your ceiling? Or mend a wicker chair? Then I have the book for you. I am currently obsessed with News Chronicles Housewife’s Handy Book. Printed in 1930 it declares itself a ‘firm, reliable friend in every…
It's my blog-aversary and coincidentally this is my 100th post. Two whole years writing to you, and I don’t even get a card! I told a friend that it was my blog-aversary and she looked at me sideways, ‘God, do you still have anything left to say?’ It sounds worse than how she meant it.…
Bordering Grey 