Greetings, gorgeous ones. How has your week been? I’ve been visited by the Lady Covidia; throat scarred with razor blades, mind numbing fatigue and muscle aches that have left me winded. After a long weekend in bed, I was feeling if not better then less ill, but then my sense of taste disappeared, I felt…
Bore da Chickens, I know you weren’t expecting to hear from me today after all the drama about my flaps (really, that joke never gets old). I could get badges made, ‘Ask me about my Flaps!’ You know how I might have mentioned I’d written a book? You know the one with the fabulous…
Bore da, my lovelies. Did I mention I was writing a book? Funny, it must have slipped my mind... Well, the day is finally here, and I can reveal the cover and title of my new book. I am so excited to share it with you guys first. I can’t tell you how much I…
I’m late, I’m late, I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been thinking about you. About this post. I miss chatting. Who knew writing a memoir would take up so much head space? Oh, and then there’s the bloody Mister demanding to know which cloth he’s meant to use to clean the windows, while my head is…
‘I’m off to Morrisons to collect my meds, do we need anything,’ the Mister asks? There was a time when a trip to Morrisons was all about a bottle of wine and a pizza, now it’s more likely to be a search for HRT and blood pressure pills. ‘Will you bring me something nice?’ I…
I am not very good at not being good at a thing. Do you know what I mean? Like, I know we all have to start somewhere, learning something new. But I would rather learn and be rubbish in the privacy of my own home, only sharing learning with others when I am good at…
What new horrors face me this week, in this world where I cannot quite see everything? What new joys does menopause bring, along with a powerful urge to tell the entire world to Fuck Off or eat my body weight in Malted Milk biscuits? This week, it seems, we need to talk about hair. I’ve…
I write my blog posts a few weeks in advance, so you are reading this while I am safely recovering from Gall Bladder surgery. (Or I died, in which case this might be a bit weird.) But let’s assume I’m fine and catching up on my favourite hobbies – binge-watching Pottery shows while sniggering and…
It has been bought to my attention that my recent posts have been a little snarky. Friends have messaged me asking if I am ok? (Well, I say friend, more like an acquaintance. To be honest, I consider her reading this blog more than a little bit stalky, I mean I don’t want to meet…
Insomnia strikes again. Waking at 3 am rather than my usual 4 am seems spiteful and futile. One can conceivably get up at 4 but 3 is just bloody ridiculous. I turn over and try to go back to sleep, my mind racing as I groggily scrunch up pillows and gently elbow my husband to…
I seem to be losing my marbles. Have you seen them? Do you know where they are? Answers on a whats-a-ma-call-it!
I often think about death. Well not often, but I do think about it. Not so much my impending mortality, the brevity of our short lives, nothing quite so highbrow. More along the lines of embarrassing deaths and how to avoid them. Is that weird? There are the obvious ones – dying on the toilet,…
My husband is doing my head in. Not in a ‘I need to lay a new patio’ kinda way. Nor in ‘I need to look for one bedroom flats’ though the latter is certainly appealing. I should point out for fairness and balance that my husband is a lovely bloke – kind and supportive, a…
It has happened again. I swear to god, this is the last straw. Never mind insomnia, mood swings, the midlife spreading in places I didn’t think I could spread any further, this -THIS- has tipped me over the edge. What, I hear you say? You always do this – make these grand announcements and then…
Bordering Grey 