I would like a round of applause.

No really, I mean it. Stop sitting there drinking your coffee and give me a clap. A standing ovation would be nice, but I recognise we’re all busy people so, you know, a hearty congratulations will be just fine.

Have you done it?

I’ll be able to tell if you didn’t.

Shall we carry on?

And what is the cause of these congratulations I hear you ask? What brilliance has emerged since last week?

Well, my friend, let me tell you.

I have finished my Christmas knitting!

Don’t look like that, if you have followed this blog for any amount of time you will know of my Christmas Knitting Nightmares – each Christmas knitting 12 pairs of socks from September until Christmas Eve, (or on some years the end of January.)

And welcome if you are a new reader, you are excused clapping until you reach the end.

A regular reader would know the angst of my Yuletide speed knitting.  Would share the horror of misreading a pattern – the year I missed out a page of every single pattern resulting in every pair of socks being three sizes too small.  Or the year I sat, an RSI in my wrist, wincing with every knit one, pearl.

So, when I tell you my Christmas knitting is done and it’s not even Halloween then I think we can all agree a standing ovation is nothing less than I deserve.

Other than the making of two tiny pom-poms, I am done. School is out and I am free for the holidays, and we’ve not even bobbed for an apple or inhaled a bag of fizzy Haribo (well I may have done that, purely in celebration, you understand.)

And the secret to my speed and magnificence?

I made hats!

Chunky Hats!

14 of them!

Ok, one I had to make twice because I misread the pattern, but the rest are pretty much perfect, or close enough for jazz. There are blue ones and green ones, red hats with bobbles, brown hats with big stripes. My favourite is a pale blue one, with a faux cable twist.

I’d show you pictures but then my kids might see!

Who am I kidding, my family never read this. Still, I may have to hunt you down and kill you if you ‘accidentally’ sent a ‘hat pic’ to one of my kids.

I’m even going to make a hat for myself! I’m starting it today!

Why have I never made hats before?  I mean, I know socks are cool and I look a total bad-ass knitting on four needles, but nowadays only the dog ever sees me.

And knitting with fine sock yarn takes forever, but with an Aran yarn a hat can be finished by the end of the day – well I exaggerate, but certainly by the following dinner.

And I got all the yarn cheap in the Sales!

(Full disclosure, I did misread the patterns and only ordered half the yarn required, the sale having finished by the time I caught on. And yes one of the yarns did knit up like baby poo-coloured sandpaper, but still! I got a bargain)

So, what now I hear you ask? What new wonders await you, Maya, now that you have all of this unexpected free time?

Well, check out these beauties. I may have snuck them in with the Christmas purchases, thinking I might get to knit them come summer, but hey! I might actually knit a scarf and be able to wear it – this winter!!!!!. A knitting rarity as precious as, I don’t know, a precious thing.

So, if you didn’t feel compelled to give me a round of applause before you read this, yes you at the back, don’t think I didn’t notice. I now invite you to stand and salute me!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

If you ask nicely I could knit you a hat to throw in the air to celebrate.

ps. For the knitters out there – the hats were knitted with Drops Yarn using assorted patterns from their website.

Women’s Beanies – Free knitting patterns and crochet patterns by DROPS Design (garnstudio.com)

The scalf I am planning is based on this design, but with different colours and different wool – so not really like this at all.

Dream Weaver Scarf / DROPS 242-29 – Free knitting patterns by DROPS Design (garnstudio.com)