I’m off to Cardiff to chat CHOPSY with the fab folk at Book-Space Cardiff. Going a week early, the plan is to rest enough after the journey so that the M.E fairy feels accommodated and consulted on every decision. (Life works best if she gives me the illusion of control.) I’ve writing to do anyway,…
Do you know someone who needs a little CHOPSY in their life. Giving away a signed copy of the book and a sparkly CHOPSY brooch, from the fabulous Wear and Resist, along with booksmarks and badges. For a chance to win simply head over to my Instagram tag a friend who needs some CHOPSY, then…
Keeping company and making friends The book has been out in the world for a month now, and it has been a blast. I've done libraries and galleries, I've done bookshops and birthday bashes. I’ve had an absolute ball meeting readers and amazing bookish peeps, chatting, and performing, and working on my book-signing scrawl. I’ve…
It’s been a funny week. All the excitement of a book out in the world, and a fair amount of stress. Yesterday I was brilliantly delivering a writing workshop with some magnificent women, signing books and being fabulous. Today I've barely made it off the sofa, my throat so exhausted I can barely speak. I…
My family have accused me of farming them for content for this blog. This is a blatant lie. I don’t farm them for content; they are just so friggin hilarious it would be a crime not to share. Example one. The Mister is listening to The Lord of the Rings books. (Not the BBC Radio adaptation,…
The M.E fairy is not happy. If you’ve never met her, she is small and green and thinks she is the boss of me. In reality she is the boss of me, but we don’t need to tell her that. She likes lying down. That’s pretty much it. She likes lying down which means that…
A sneak peek at the book as I stare down Imposter Syndrome.
I’ve been Googling… ‘What’s it like to launch…’ The first thing that came up was ‘what’s it like to launch a nuclear missile?’ I have questions, so many questions… who needs to know this? Why? And is Trump being supervised when he is at the computer? The next result was ‘what’s it like launch into…
I was going to write a blog post. It was going to be full of the normal New Year roundups – how many books I read last year. How many I didn’t buy; Hooray! for the library. How many I actually bought anyway. It would have been fascinating, incisive, obviously witty, full of smart things to…
30 Days of Giving begins today! If you remember, I give a gift a day to make the run up to the Solstice. You can read more about it here https://borderinggrey.com/2023/11/21/30-days-of-giving/ Despite my love of giving, I am not good at receiving gifts. When faced with gifts (and that language says it all), when faced…
Despite what others might say, I am not a collector. I mean, you casually say that you like teapots and suddenly, every birthday and Christmas, it’s a teapot! Pink tea pots, red tea pots, vintage 70s matching tea and coffee pots. There was even an exquisite early 20th-century suffragette teapot, which, by the way, I…
Bore da Chickens, I know you weren’t expecting to hear from me today after all the drama about my flaps (really, that joke never gets old). I could get badges made, ‘Ask me about my Flaps!’ You know how I might have mentioned I’d written a book? You know the one with the fabulous…
Do you ever feel like you are doing life wrong? Like you should be doing loads of stuff, but instead you are quietly just doing you? July started with a much-anticipated trip to Barry in South Wales. There to perform an extract of my work for Folding Rock magazine, I took the chance to catch…
Sorry, I’m late. I seem to be snowed under, but with what I’m not sure. The truth is I’ve been feeling a little anxious. Did I mention I’ve been writing a book, that has a title and a cover and everything? No? It must have slipped your mind. Well, the book is about to go…
Can you guess what I'm saying? Ooh, I have news! Top secret news! I’m not allowed to share it with anyone, but you, dear reader, are not just anyone, so I will tell you anyway. But first, in other news, I was temporarily banned from Facebook. Do you want the long or the short version?…
The great declutter has taken on Olympian proportions as the son is down from Glasgow to empty the attic. Long-time readers will be aware of the oppression of the attic. It's not so much what's up there, though there's a lot of shite that isn’t mine, but not being able to get up there and…
I’ve fallen down another hole on Instagram. I’ve been learning how to get dressed. I’m aware some of you have seen me wearing clothes before. I do know how to get dressed, though, to be fair, it was fairly recent that I learned the label in your knickers goes on the left, meaning you never…
I’ve lost my reading classes, so if this post has more than the usual number of spilling mistakes you’ll know why. The last time I remember having them, I was squinting through one lens attempting to dye my eyebrows, the other half of the glasses balanced on my head, all skew-whiff. I’d look where I’d…
I’ve been thinking about words. I write, so words literally fill my world. In English, we have an average vocabulary of between 20,000 and 40,000 words. (You know I am competitive so you can absolutely bet that I went online and did a test to measure my vocabulary.) The measure of our vocabulary is…
The dog and I are wintering. Well, I am, the dog is being a dick but more on that another day. I am embracing the season and have slipped from the winter festivities into the warming embrace of hibernation. My health, always declining in the darker days like some Victorian invalid, requires this time of…
Hello! How are you? I hate that we don’t chat as much. I miss you. And I can never remember if I've written to you or not - so here goes. It’s that time of year again. It is the time of coat roulette. The summer has long gone, pumpkins and fireworks are mere wisps…
I have been undertaking serious research. Ok, I asked a few of my friends on Facebook. And I know, according to some, that counts as ‘research’ but let’s not get carried away. Let me ask you, how often do you speak to your kids? Obviously, if you still live with them, then it’s a constant…
I’m full of rage. It’s not my husband this time – though he is still a dick, just in case he does/has done something annoying in the past, or the future. It's not even the dog. What, you ask is the problem, then? (or at least you’d better ask, or this is going to…
‘Shall we go away for Christmas?’ the mister asks as we are sat in bed, psyching each other out over whose turn it is to get up and make more tea. For a moment I think he might have had a stroke. Does he think it is Christmas now? Dear god, is he actually planning…
My daughter says she wants me to stop writing about her. This is going to be a short-lived blog. I didn't set out to write about my kids, or my dog, or my annoying husband but, write what you know and all that, and anyway, I can’t think of anything else. The great Sue Townsend,…
Like many writers, I have a passion for words. I love the mouthfeel of certain words. The way the word settles on the lips and tongue. Hippopotamus are my favourite creatures because I love the way the word feels in my mouth, - all lip tingling and mouth round, ending with a sibilant hiss. I’ve…
This week I have been mostly scrolling Instagram. I could be writing, or cleaning my house, or talking to my husband... This is what I have learned. Do not let crazy hairdressers wax your head. I’d have thought this was a given, but it seems there is a newfangled trend for waxing lollipop sticks into…
So, I’ve written a book. Well, to be fair it's nearly two-thirds done. It's a bit like this blog, only bigger and more personal, though I’m not sure how much more personal you can get than discussing your boobs on the internet. It’s a bit weird, writing about yourself. Even though I do it every…
‘I’m off to Morrisons to collect my meds, do we need anything,’ the Mister asks? There was a time when a trip to Morrisons was all about a bottle of wine and a pizza, now it’s more likely to be a search for HRT and blood pressure pills. ‘Will you bring me something nice?’ I…
My husband and I fall back onto the bed hot and panting, sweat glistening our skin. Oi! Eyes up top. Get your mind out of the gutter, it was nothing like that. We’d just finished putting the duvet cover on. This is what counts for excitement in middle aged life. I feel I should point…
This week I discovered my new passion. My world has changed. With full on Neuro-spicy hyperfocus I'm hooked. Researching, planning, hunting down all the new kit. (Ok, I had most of it already, but a new outfit wouldnt hurt, you've got to look the part.) What is this new obsession, I hear you ask? Well,…
Oh my friggin’ God, it's still January! How the fuck can it still be January? Despite still having cupboards full of Christmas biscuits, panettone and chocolate, Christmas feels like a hundred years ago. (I feel I should apologise for still having Christmas chocolate in the house, I know I've let you all down. I’ve let…
Thinking of going away over Christmas? Do make sure to contact your local bobby to let them know. More helpful advice from the Handy Companion
OK, I know I did a post about Christmas movies last year, but bear with. Christmas is all about traditions. Christmas is all about those little family rituals that make the holidays special. There’s the advent calendars, and the cakes and the mince pies and Christmas is absolutely about movies. If you missed my post…
Todays beauty tip from The Housewifes Handy Book. I wanna see you really puffing those cheeks.
Have you ever wanted to know how to address the Eldest son of an Earl? Or how to whitewash your ceiling? Or mend a wicker chair? Then I have the book for you. I am currently obsessed with News Chronicles Housewife’s Handy Book. Printed in 1930 it declares itself a ‘firm, reliable friend in every…
The dog is doing my head in. No longer happy with being a dick he is now aiming for full-on twat! At nine months he is now full of teenage angst. Having gone through the biting stage, briefly pausing for the humping stage, we are now in the ‘your-not-the-boss-of-me-stage. This mostly involves forgetting every bit…
I would like a round of applause. No really, I mean it. Stop sitting there drinking your coffee and give me a clap. A standing ovation would be nice, but I recognise we’re all busy people so, you know, a hearty congratulations will be just fine. Have you done it? I’ll be able to tell…
It is that time of year again. Not the time of year when the grass is too soggy to hold my wheelchair and I am relegated to the confines of the path, - that came a few weeks ago. (Still it helps me avoid the dog-walking mafia.) No, I am talking about apple season. This…
It's my blog-aversary and coincidentally this is my 100th post. Two whole years writing to you, and I don’t even get a card! I told a friend that it was my blog-aversary and she looked at me sideways, ‘God, do you still have anything left to say?’ It sounds worse than how she meant it.…
*This is a work of fiction- any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental! The puppy has grown. No longer a puppy, he is a hulking teenager, trying to throw his weight around and then when tired wanting to curl up on my lap for a nap. He is now way too…
What a real writers room looks like. Hey! How are you doing? Did you have a good holidays? The summer is over and the Autumn, after that weird little heatwave, is finally here. And with that, I am back to writing – so hello and thank you for coming back to read. I am writing…
This is my last blog post for a while. I’m taking the summer off. The grandson is coming for a few weeks, and I’ve other writing I need to focus on, and books I need to read, and while I love hanging out with you on a Tuesday morning over a quickly grabbed coffee, we…
My bedroom is a mess. I don’t mean it’s a bit untidy. I mean it looks like I’ve become a teenager or been burgled. Drawers stand open, their contents spilling to the floor. Piles of clothes lie discarded on the carpet, next to damp towels. The bed is unmade and on closer inspection, it looks…
Can I just say before I get started that I adore dogs. I like dogs more than I like most people. Dogs are reliable. Dogs are loyal. Dogs are beautiful. But, it has to be said, dogs are dicks. Now before you start getting all judgemental hear me out. I am a woman who cannot live…
The great knitting monstrosity is nearly complete. What is this monstrosity, I hear you ask. Surely, you Maya, the keeper of taste and refinement, are no creator of monstrosities? Well, monstrous is in the eye of the beholder and while this is a very pretty project it did kinda get away from me. It was…
I have too much on. It may not seem like a lot to many of you, but it is too much for me. There is writing, of course, writing this my priority, our weekly little one-sided chats. And of course, there is the puppy, who is settling into a routine – not my routine –…
Have you seen Brian, our pet dragon ? Hunting for dragons in the wilds of Wales.
Insanity has struck. Despite all of my plans, I’ve done something mad. I gave myself a good talking too, reminded myself that I was of an age, was quite emphatic that this wasn’t the time, then ignored myself and did it anyway. We got a puppy. My husband was useless. Rather than talking me down,…
Facebook is trolling me. I don’t mean anyone on Facebook, but Meta itself. It started like any other morning. Yoga finished, I decided to check in with my online world and see who was up to what. It was great to see that a friend had knitted her pubic hair into a jumper, and another…
I should be writing. I mean that’s what you are here for. And I’m trying, really I am but there is only so much a woman can say before she runs out of words, right? Only Joking! Well only a bit. See, I just got distracted. I went to a training day on how to…
My husband is looking after me. This is not a new thing, he’s nice like that – that’s one of the reasons I married him. That and the fact that he came for Christmas one year and literally wouldn’t go away - six kids later I figured I was stuck with him. We were sat,…
It has been bought to my attention that my recent posts have been a little snarky. Friends have messaged me asking if I am ok? (Well, I say friend, more like an acquaintance. To be honest, I consider her reading this blog more than a little bit stalky, I mean I don’t want to meet…
All the fuss is over. The tree is down, and the kids are back to school. I’ve cleaned the living room – seriously how does the house get so dirty? And how do you not really notice it until you start to clean and then all you can see is filth? Sorry I digress. It…
I treated myself to one of those beauty advents boxes. In true working-class fashion, I need to tell you that I had a voucher, and there was a deal, so it hardly cost a thing – why do we do that? If someone compliments my dress I have to tell them that I got it…
Bordering Grey 