I should be writing.

I mean that’s what you are here for. 

And I’m trying, really I am but there is only so much a woman can say before she runs out of words, right?

Only Joking! Well only a bit. See, I just got distracted.

I went to a training day on how to use Canva to create my ‘Brand’ like I’m a bottle of washing up liquid or a lifestyle. We all need a brand it seems – just rocking up and spouting shite is, apparently, not enough. So, I spent a happy three hours messing with logo’s, trying to find logo’s, failing to save logo’s and then collapsing into an anxiety fuelled coma when, after all that, the logo design doesn’t fit.

Then I tried to add the logo to the blog. Easy you might think!

Ha!

The colour palette doesn’t match and now the photo’s don’t seem to work and for an exceptionally tense two hours I lost the entire blog completely. Back now, if a little wonky I am wondering about procrastination and making it worse.

See if I had just sat down and done my job – actually written something then the blog wouldn’t be looking like a hot mess and that tight too-much-screen-time-eyestrain might not be so bad.

Do you do this? Are you easily distracted?

Yesterday I sat down to read.

I’ll check my emails first, I thought, anxiously waiting for an important email.

I’ll just take a peek at Facebook.

I scrolled, switching over to Instagram.

An hour later I am still sat, book in my lap, watching really compelling reels of swing dance competitions and women knitting, standing up in a swimming pool and baby rabbits eating strawberries or dogs in cute outfits or hacks for disgusting meals you would never want to eat, or drying your hair with a tea strainer or people giving themselves weird haircuts

Then I watched reels of people watching reels of people giving themselves crazy haircuts. Let me just clarify; me sat watching someone watching a video of someone else cutting their hair! Paint drying anyone?

How do we get sucked into these? What are they doing to our brains?

I could’ve read the book, written this bloody post or given myself a Wolf Haircut in that time, but instead I was sat eyes glued to the screen watching people pull shocked faces when cutting your own fringe went badly.

I need to get on and write.

I need a list.

I will write a list.

But I don’t want to write a list on a scrappy piece of paper, or I don’t know, be all 21^st century and write it on my phone.

I want to write a list in that lovely new notepad I got for Christmas. And with a nice pen. Not a scratchy one but a smooth one that sighs and glides with my every word.

It took three days to find the notebook.

In doing so I destroyed my sewing room, moving boxes from side to the other, got distracted looking at sewing patterns wondering if I should just make the damn dress or continue with my three year procrastination of ‘I-wont-make-it- now-because-I-want-to-lose-weight-and-the-fabric-is-too-pretty-to-waste.’ I found and then lost a non-scratchy pen and then forgot what it was I was looking for anyway.

What were we talking about?

A list, I was going to make a list.

What was I making a list about?

What are you doing here?

God my brain is fried. I can’t write anymore.

I’m going to go find pretty pictures to go with random blog posts I might just write sometime.

See you in 7 hours.

Namaste!